Trick or Treat
by SmashTurnip Girl
Summary: Toki makes a bad costume choice.


Toki loves Hallowe'en. It's a celebration of all his favourite things: being dark and brutal, eating too many sweets, cute but totally metal animals like black cats and bats - he even gets to dress up. If you were to ask Toki to choose between Christmas and Hallowe'en, it'd be a tough decision.

The rest of Dethklok, on the other hand, can take it or leave it: it's a good excuse for some spooky cocktails, bad horror movies and groupies in ridiculous, slutty costumes, but when you spend each day of the year being dark and brutal, Hallowe'en's nothing special.

Toki tries to get them interested: he'll sneak skeletons into their rooms when they're not looking, or hide behind the couch with a monster hand, ready to tap a poor, unsuspecting band member on the shoulder when they're just trying to watch some TV. (Pickles loses a drink that way, but all it takes is a smile from Toki and the offer of a ghost-shaped chocolate to smooth things over.)

Skwisgaar bears the brunt of Toki's attacks, of course. Toki covers him in cobwebs, drops a couple of eyeballs into his drink, wraps his Explorer up in bandages and, proving that you can't beat the classics, jumps out at him wearing a creepy mask that makes Skwisgaar let out the most hilarious shriek Toki has ever heard. Skwisgaar shouts at him afterwards, but Toki's laughing too hard to care.

"Hallsoweens ams for dumb dildos babies," Skwisgaar tells him, who's really had enough of the many near-heart attacks he's had already today. Being scared to death by a childishly excited rhythm guitarist is probably not the most metal of ways to go.

"You's just no funs," says Toki, placing a skull-shaped lollipop in front of Skwisgaar's lips. Skwisgaar closes his mouth around it and looks at Toki as if to ask 'happy now?' Toki smiles at him and wanders off to ask Murderface what kind of knife is best for sacrificing a pumpkin to the art gods.

Skwisgaar can just about tell that the pumpkin left outside his room has an Explorer carved into it with what appears to have been more love than skill.

ooo

"Pickles, what the Hell's that?"

"Brain Haemorrhage," Pickles replies, holding up the glass. Nathan and Murderface look at it with fascination.

"God, that's brutal. It's like someone got a brain and put it in a shot glass. You could get blitzed on brains. WHOA, good song title!"

"It'sch schick," agrees Murderface. "I approve."

Pickles downs his brains. "Okee, Flaming Zahmbie next."

ooo

"What do you thinks, Deddy?" asks Toki, checking every angle of himself in the full-length mirror he's had brought into his room specially. Deddy (who's wearing a tiny pair of devil horns for the occasion) smiles back blankly. "Dat's what I thoughts," says Toki, pleased with his costume.

ooo

"Tricks or treats!" Toki doesn't knock before entering Charles's office; he barges right in.

Charles raises his eyebrows at him. "That's, uh, quite a costume you've got there." He rummages through his desk drawer for the candy he'd put there earlier in anticipation of marauding Norwegians.

"Yeah, I gots it made specials." Charles dumps the vast assortment of candy into Toki's mini-cauldron, and Toki's face lights up. "Wowee! Thanks, Charles! I don'ts has to tricks you now, dat's good. I didn't wants to tricks you."

"Thank you. Now, if you don't mind..."

"OKs, I's going. Happy Hallows-weens!"

"Happy Hallowe'en," replies Charles, who gets back to work, trying to shake the image of Toki in his costume from his mind.

ooo

"Hey, guys , tricks or treats!" Toki bursts into the main room with gusto, candy-container brandished high in the air.

Pickles, Murderface and Nathan look on in shock and disbelief.

"Oh God, Toki, why would you... Why would you wear that?"

"Whats? It's just my costumes."

"But, dood, it's like, naht cool."

"It makesch me wanna gouge out my eyesch."

"You's all just jealous," says Toki proudly. Jealous that Toki's enough fun to dress up and go trick-or-treating when they're all so grown-up and boring. "Now gives me treats!"

Nathan scoops up a large pile of Hallowe'en sweets from the table and lets them fall more-or-less into Toki's cauldron. "Dat's what I'm talkin' about! OK, thanks, pals, sees you laters!" Toki leaves the room with a spring in his step.

"That... That was weird," says Nathan at last.

"I nearly had an actual brain haemorrhage," says Pickles, looking at his second organ-filled cocktail sadly.

"I juscht can't believe that he'd do that to usch. It'sch repugnant. He'sch only doing it 'causche we're fat. He'sch rubbing our fasches in it!"

"Dood, gross," complains Pickles, looking disgusted whilst drinking brains.

Nathan chuckles. "I wonder if Skwisgaar's seen it yet..."

ooo

Skwisgaar's sitting on his bed, Explorer in hands, watching the tealight flickering in his pumpkin. The more he looks at it, the more he appreciates it. Toki is adorable, Skwisgaar smiles to himself.

Skwisgaar's still smiling as he opens the door on the prompting of a loud 'tricks or treats!' from the other side.

He takes one look at Toki's costume and isn't smiling anymore. Well, he wasn't expecting _this_.

Whatever possessed Toki to dress up as Dr. Rockso, Skwisgaar doesn't know. He understands how important that clown is to Toki, but that's no excuse to start taking fashion advice from him.

Toki does wear it better, of course. That large expanse of flesh exposed by the front of the god-awful, blindingly fluorescent jumpsuit is perfectly sculpted and more than just a little appealing. But Skwisgaar can't help but look at it and think of the overweight, aging clown and his fucking man-boobs.

A quick check confirms that, yes, Toki too would get banned from Music Television for wearing that. But Skwisgaar can't even enjoy that thanks to memories of that clown _gyrating_.

That stupid wig and stupid hat just make things worse, but Toki has this hopeful look on his face that's just so adorable. It's a shame it's marred by face paint and a ridiculous red nose.

And what the Hell are those boots?

For the first time in a long while, Skwisgaar's penis has no idea how it's supposed to react.

"Tricks or treats!" Toki reminds Skwisgaar, holding his cauldron up expectantly.

Skwisgaar sighs. "Toki, you ams both," he tells him.

"Huh?"

There's only one solution to all of this. "Takes off dat stupid outsfits and gets in here!"

"Do I gets candy?"

It isn't candy, but it's certainly a treat.

Toki shouting 'k-k-k-yeah!' at an inopportune moment, however, is more of a trick.


End file.
